{"product_id":"funny-soy-candle-smells-like-marlboro-menthols-vaseline-and-regret-adult-humor-gift-gag-gift-for-her-him-sarcastic-candle-9oz","title":"Funny Soy Candle | Smells Like Marlboro Menthols Vaseline and Regret | Adult Humor Gift | Gag Gift for Her Him | Sarcastic Candle 9oz","description":"✦ FOR WHEN YOU WANT TO REMEMBER THE BAD DECISIONS ✦\n\nThis 9oz soy candle is hand-poured with love (and a little judgment) and dressed in a vintage apothecary label that reads exactly what you're thinking but never say out loud.\n\nWhether it's a white elephant gift, a birthday present for your brutally honest best friend, or a little something for yourself after a rough week — this candle delivers.\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n✦ PRODUCT DETAILS\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n• 9oz premium soy wax candle\n• Clean-burning, long-lasting wick\n• Vintage-style apothecary label\n• Black metal lid\n• Burn time: approx. 50–60 hours\n• Made in the USA\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n✦ PERFECT FOR\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n• Birthdays for the friend who has everything (and poor life choices)\n• White elephant or dirty Santa exchanges\n• Divorce parties, breakup recovery kits\n• \"Just because I saw this and thought of you\"\n• Honestly? Anyone who appreciates dark humor\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n✦ SHIPPING \u0026amp; HANDLING\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n• Ships within 2–5 business days\n• Carefully packaged to arrive safely\n• Gift-ready right out of the box\n\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\n✦ MAKE IT PERSONAL\n━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━━\nLooking for a custom label? Message us — we love a challenge.\n\n⚠️ This candle contains: soy wax, humor, and zero regrets about putting this in your cart. A candle for people who appreciate humor that’s a little unhinged. This 9oz soy candle comes in a sleek glass jar with a glossy label featuring a sarcastic scent description that’s guaranteed to get a laugh. Whether you’re gifting it to a friend, a coworker, or someone who loves chaotic energy, it’s the perfect mix of funny and functional.\n\nMade with a 100% natural soy wax blend, a clean‑burning cotton wick, and a long 50–60 hour burn time, it’s more than just a joke — it actually smells great. Choose from multiple scent options and let the label do the talking \nPacked with immersive aromas, these scented candles come in 9oz glass jars and are one size (2.8″ × 3.5\") (7.1cm × 8.8cm). Made with 100% natural soy wax blend, each candle features a 100% cotton wick and a permanent adhesive label where your custom designs can come alive.\n.: Materials: 100% natural soy wax blend, 100% cotton wick and a glass jar\n.: One size: 2.8″ × 3.5\" (7.1cm × 8.9cm)\n.: Compliant with ASTM safety standards\n.: Burning time: 50-60 hours\n.: Glossy permanent adhesive label\n.: Assembled in the USA from globally sourced parts\n.: Please note: All scents have the same wax color\u003cbr\u003e\u003cbr\u003e\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eEU representative\u003c\/strong\u003e: HONSON VENTURES LIMITED, gpsr@honsonventures.com, 3, Gnaftis House flat 102, Limassol, Mesa Geitonia, 4003, CY\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eProduct information\u003c\/strong\u003e: Lumient, 2 year warranty in EU and Northern Ireland as per Directive 1999\/44\/EC\u003c\/p\u003e\n\u003cp\u003e\u003cstrong\u003eCare instructions\u003c\/strong\u003e: Keep burning candle within sight. Keep away from children and pets.  Never burn the candle near flammable items. \t\t\t\t\t\u003c\/p\u003e","brand":"Printify","offers":[{"title":"Apple Harvest \/ 9oz","offer_id":58089813836079,"sku":"12332246135679680524","price":17.47,"currency_code":"USD","in_stock":true}],"thumbnail_url":"\/\/cdn.shopify.com\/s\/files\/1\/0980\/7380\/5103\/files\/20260619141407-1f16be92-295e-6358-a993-92ca269decc2.png?v=1781878690","url":"https:\/\/elventuresllcprint.myshopify.com\/products\/funny-soy-candle-smells-like-marlboro-menthols-vaseline-and-regret-adult-humor-gift-gag-gift-for-her-him-sarcastic-candle-9oz","provider":"Shadow Circuit Collective ","version":"1.0","type":"link"}